Trip Journals: Africa | Cambodia | China/Bangkok/Singapore | Europe | Europe Cruise | Greece | Haiti | Iberia (Spain / Portugal) | India / Kashmir | Israel / Jordan / Egypt | Italy | Maldives | New Zealand / Sydney | Peru / Machu Picchu | Poland | Russia / Baltic | Scotland | South America | Sri Lanka | Vietnam
This page has information and pictures from:
Football Championship Univ Fla 2008
4-Highest Peaks World Record Tour
Snow-mageddon Atlanta January 28, 2014
Triathlons and Peachtree Road Race
Zip lining at Banning Hills, Georgia
SHOW: Broadway show HAMILTON
SHOW: Broadway show Million Dollar Quartet and drinks with Elvis (Presley)
SHOW: Cirque de la Symphonie
SHOW: Hair rock musical in 2013 and Jesus Christ Superstar in 2009
Also see fun stuff on these pages: Roller Coasters and 9 beaches and 4 lighthouses in one year.
Zip lining at Banning Hills, Georgia
I did this October, 2008
Guinness World Records, in 2012 said Banning Hills had the largest and longest zip line canopy tour on the planet.
More than 10 miles of zip lines and massive sky bridges (one is over 700 feet long), tree bridges, 20 platforms, two 60 foot towers and heights over 200 feet.
What a blast! For more information check out their web site at http://www.historicbanningmills.com/ 205 Horseshoe Dam Rd. Whitesburg, GA 30185 866-447-8688 (about 20 south of Six Flags)
The giant Screaming Eagle zip line goes through Snake Creek Gorge over live rapids. It's like stepping off a 30 story building . You reach speeds up to 60 miles per hour.
First you climb up lots of steps. Then you zip line to the first platform:
Then you have to get from platform to platform on scary bridges:
Wire bridges !!!??!!! Then you zip down. The last Screaming Eagle zip is 2400 ft. It has one of the world's highest timber pole towers.
You look down at Snake Creek almost 300feet below. It's like stepping off a 30 story building.
Awesome fun!!!
Zip Lining at Banning Mills, Georgia http://historicbanningmills.com/canopy.html
Check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5h-jQJ0KEE&feature=related
Also take a look at these...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQvjGaPZVa8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cISUDSn6Bc4&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzhR8xdU4Zo&NR=1
NY Times Zipping Through the Treetops http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/17/travel/escapes/17leaves.html
This also looks like fun! http://www.ziprider.com/home.php
December, 2015 http://cirquedelasymphonie.com/
My friend Carolyn got complementary tickets from coach Bobby Cox. Nine rows behind home plate!
DaVinci and Michelangelo Side by Side Exhibit
July, 2015
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I went to this Apple Museum show April, 2013. It brought back memories....
Apple introduced its first true modems in 1984, the Apple Modem 300 and 1200.
They were external modems, connected via serial cables to the Macintosh. The
telephone line was then connected directly to the modem.
These modems could
also be connected to any Apple II with a Super Serial Card or similar interface.
In 1984, I was working for Computer Aided Marketing Programs (CAMP). I helped farmers use these 300 baud modems with their Apple computer to dial into our mainframe.
It took 20 minutes to download a hurricane map to see if they had to protect their crops.
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This next picture is the 30-pound "transportable" PC that I used at trade shows.
I hauled / lugged this computer through airports to show the system at trade
shows. Now our phones can do all that....
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IBM Portable PC 5155 The picture is the 30-pound "transportable" PC that I lugged through airports to show the system at trade shows. Now our phones can do all that.... |
Released: February, 1984 Price $4225 Weight: 30 pounds CPU: Intel 8088 @4.77MHz Audio: 1 bit RAM: 256K, 640K max Display: built-in 9-inch amber CRT, CGA graphics, 80x25 text Storage: 2 360K 5.25-inch disk drives Ports: 1 parallel, 1 serial, CGA video OS: Microsoft BASIC in ROM Internal Expansion: 8 IBM XT slots, 4 available Power: 120/240VAC only. No batteries inside |
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http://www.computermuseumofamerica.com/
Atlanta Historical Computer Society
https://atlhcs.org/ A user group for computer history /
computer collecting enthusiasts
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=atlhcs
I did this November 13, 2008 (with May) and again in November 11, 2009 (with 4 friends).
From their web site http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/ paraphrased:
Dialogue in the Dark is an awareness-raising company. We offer exhibitions and business workshop in total darkness. Through these perspective-changing experiences, we create jobs for blind, disabled and disadvantaged people worldwide.
In the exhibition, blind guides lead visitors in small groups through different settings in total darkness where they learn how to interact without sight by using their other senses. It offers the public an experience that can change mindsets on disability and diversity, and increase tolerance.
Over six million visitors from more than 25 countries have experienced the exhibition, giving over 5.000 blind people jobs since its first opening in 1988.
DIALOG IN THE DARK is not an ordinary Exhibition; it is an experience that will awaken senses, challenge prejudices, and deepen self-awareness.
DIALOG IN THE DARKS visually impaired guides lead visitors on a journey through a series of darkened galleries created to replicate everyday experiences. Without familiar sight clues, visitors learn to see in a completely new way with their non-visual senses.
DIALOG IN THE DARK is breaking through stereotypes to promote respect and tolerance in an engaging and lighthearted way.
DIALOG IN THE DARK is a one-hour experience, which lasts a lifetime.
The exhibition consists of a series of rooms in complete darkness.
The
visitors, in groups of up to 10 people, get a short briefing and are introduced
to the use of a long cane before embarking on the journey through darkness.
Escorted by the visually impaired guide, they spend up to 90 minutes exploring
darkened galleries: a public park, a bustling city street, a food market, a
boat, a cafe, to name a few.
Within this new paradigm, guides open the
visitors eyes to show them that the world of the blind, the world of the
other , is in no way poorer, just different.
Ticket Adult cost was $20.92 phone: 866-866-8265
To get there at Atlantic Station 265 18th Street, Atlanta, GA 30363: Take I-75 S to exit 250 16th St. Drive to Market St. Turn right. Parking garage near elevator #5. Got to level 2.
My Experience:
I got more of an experience that anyone! I went with 4 friends. There was a total of seven people in our group. At the first checkpoint, all seven of us counted off. At each checkpoint we would count off. A voice yelling "one" "two" "three" "four" "five" "six" "seven". Then we moved on to the next room.
At the end of the tour the last room was the "bustling city street". It was loud. Horns honking, a street to cross, negotiate the curb, people yelling. Everyone exited the room except me. They deserted me! I was left in the last room all by myself!!! I was in there for 15 minutes. The rest of the group was in the room next door asking questions.
Since we were the last group of the day, there wasn't a group coming behind our group so they allowed more time for questions. I was pounding on the walls, banging metal objects, and yelling and yelling for someone to help me! I did not panic, but I sure got a good idea of what it is really like to be totally blind and totally helpless. Definitely a life-changing experience for me!
4-Highest Peaks World Record Tour
I did this trip on Friday July 24 to Sunday, July 26, 1992
This trip was a trip! It's one example of other varied and different activities offered by the Atlanta Ski Club. Another Cottingham adventure for sure!
Cost is $35 with the Atlanta Ski Club
The goal of this adventure is to set what we believe to be a "World Record" by hiking to the tops of all four highest peaks in SC, NC, TN, and GA in one sunup - to - sundown day! This includes Mt. Mitchell - highest peak east of the Rockies, and Clingman's Dome - the highest peak in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.
Believe it or not, this requires only about 5 miles of total hiking, broken into short segments of no more than 1 mile each (all 4 peaks have parking lots near their summits. The crux of the Saturday plan is to start early and keep moving on schedule in our vehicles - about 290 miles total.
We will carpool from the Indian Trail I-85 park and ride lot at 6pm Friday with dinner en route to Rocky Bottom, SC (2 hr drive). We will stay in 2 rental houses Friday night, bring a sleeping bag. After an early breakfast we will drive to Sassafras Mtn. SC, then 80 miles to Mt. Mitchell, just east of Asheville, NC. After a picnic lunch we will drive 95 miles to Clingmans' Dome, TN and finally 100 more miles to our own Brasstown Bald Mountain GA. where we hope to see a beautiful sunset from the summit. We'll enjoy dinner at Camp Pioneer (oldest YMCA camp in GA, just 8 miles from Brasstown Bald) and spend the night in their antique rustic cabins. After breakfast on Sunday, we'll offer an optional day hike to the High Shoals waterfalls en route home.
Pre-Trip Party: July 21 6-8 pm at 57th Fighter Group.
Cancellation Fee: $10. No refunds after July 15 unless replaced.
The Schedule
| "World Record" Itinerary | Miles | Start | Hours |
| Saturday breakfast at Laurel Valley Lodge | 6:30 | 0.5 | |
| Rocky Bottom to base Sassafras Mountain, South Carolina | 8.0 | 7:00 | 0.3 |
| Hike up and down Sassafras Mountain 3560 feet | 0.5 | 7:15 | 0.7 |
| Sassafras to base Mt. Mitchell | 80.0 | 8:00 | 2.0 |
| Hike up and down Mt. Mitchell 6684 feet | 1.0 | 10:00 | 1.5 |
| Picnic lunch by Mt. Mitchell parking lot | 11:30 | 0.5 | |
| Base Mt. Mitchell to base Clingman's Dome | 95.0 | 12:00 | 3.0 |
| Hike up and down Clingman's Dome 6643 feet | 2.0 | 3:00 | 1.5 |
| Base Clingman's Dome to base Brasstown Bald | 99.0 | 4:30 | 2.5 |
| Hike up and down Brasstown Bald 4784 feet | 1.0 | 7:00 | 1.0 |
| End World-Record tour at sundown (8pm) | |||
Saturday dinner on your own at Deer Lodge, about 9 miles from Brasstown Bald. Spend the night at Brasstown Village, in antique cabins (formerly "Camp Pioneer", the oldest YMCA Summer Camp in GA. or you can camp in the tenting area or RV campsite if you prefer.
Sunday about 9 am we'll cook our own group breakfast at Brasstown Village (ingredients provided by trip budget).
About 11 am Check out. Optional day hike at High Shoals Falls scenic area near Brasstown Bald before 2-hour return trip to Atlanta.
Whew! That was quite a trip!
Not my picture
Peachtree Road Race 2007, 2008, 2010, 2016
This is the biggest 10K in the world and it's quite a party!
It always takes place on July 4. I did it in 2007. I'm not a runner so I said I would never to that again, but I did it again in 2008 and 2010. And again in 2016. It was HOT and Humid. I was 6 minutes slower.....
Peachtree Road race - I did it! Here's the proof. Pictures are at http://www.marathonfoto.com/
Select Race: Peachtree Road Race 2007, enter last name and Bib Number: 30613
It really was a lot of fun seeing all those people moving in unison. The race started at 7:30 and it took about an hour to get 55,000 people across the start line. I was in group 3 and I went across the start line at 7:46 am. I walked about half a mile so it took me 1 hour and 26 minutes to run 6.2 miles. The fastest runner finished in 28 minutes. I was very happy to finish!
2008 National Championship game
January, 2009 - I was there to see my Gators win!
Very fun to watch!
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Segway
Bobby Marie took my on a wonderful Segway tour through downtown.
We wheeled through all the Falcons tailgate parties. Fun!
Suzanna's Tri Movie - This is a movie of me in a race did September, 2015 at Lake Lanier. I am #815. I'm wearing a pink top swimming, green long sleeve top for the bike ride and run. Click here to view the movie of 2015 Lake Lanier Triathlon Run Flix.mp4
The races are super fun. The training sucks.
2016 August - Triathlon at Allatoona, with Christine, Wendy.
2016 June - Triathlon at Callaway, with Wendy.
2015 September - Triathlon #7 at Lake Lanier with Gorkem.
2015 August - Triathlon #6 at Allatoona with Christine, Wendy, and Gorkem.
2015 June - Triathlon #5 at Callaway, with Christine and Wendy
2010 October - Half Marathon on Silver Comet. Finished in 2:25
2010 August - Triathlon #4 Acworth
2010 June - Triathlon #3 Calloway at Mtn Creek Inn
2009 August - Triathlon #2 Acworth
2009 July - Suzanna runs the Peachtree Road Race - The Largest 10k in the World!
2009 June - My First Triathlon at Lake Lanier on Friday, June 5. There was about 200 people in my group - we started with a frantic swim in Lake Lanier, then you bike 12 miles (on hills) and run 5k (3.1 miles on hills). The week in Tibet at high altitudes (up to 17,300 feet) sure did help my training!
These pictures are from the first tri: This is the set up area at 6:45 am. You can see my (mountain) bike #57 in the foreground, and the Bike Start and Run Start signs.
Here's the finish line!
I did it!
Above is the old bike. Below is the new bike:
Georgia Peach Women's Sprint Triathlon directions to Lake Lanier
I-285 E to I-85 North to I-985.
To Exit 24 GA-369 W/US-129 N Jesse Jewell Pkwy
Exit, then turn LEFT
Go half a mile
Turn RIGHT at the light onto Limestone to stay on on 129.
Go 1.5 mile to Clarks Bridge
turn RIGHT and go 1.8 miles to 3105 Clarks Bridge Rd. Gainesville, GA 30506
To Acworth:
I-75 North to Exit 278 (Glade Farm Rd / Acworth Exit).
Turn LEFT onto Glade Farm
Turn RIGHT at the stoplight onto Lake Acworth Drive (GA 92).
Go 1/2 mile. Watch for the Mary CcCale Memorial, get in right turn only lane on the overpass.
Turn RIGHT at the end of the overpass ramp and go to Main Street.
Turn LEFT onto Main and go to the second street on the left (Lakewood Dr.)
Turn LEFT on Lakewood. Continue straight on Allatoona Dr and the road will dead end at Dallas Landing.
Alternative to Dallas Landing Park is Cauble Park at 4425 Beach St Acworth GA
Lake Lanier Mary Alice Park
1820 Mary Alice Park Rd, Cumming, GA 30041
400 North, exit 15 Bald Ridge Mrina Rd TURN RIGHT
TURN RIGHT onto Turner Rd
TURN RIGHT onto Market Pl Blvd
TURN LEFT onto Mary Alic Park Rd 1.6 mi.
Back to Top
Hash House Harrier run on January 1, 2011
I did the 22nd annual "Cheddarhead" bash. What a crazy group. It was 60 degrees and pouring rain. Over 100 people following white flour splotches through streets and into the woods. It was about a 6 mile run that ended with a big party.
Hi to all you Atlanta Outdoor Club Hikers & Partiers,
Happy New Year! Hope you've had some happy winter holidays thus far -- how 'bout that WHITE Christmas! Thanks for signing up to ring in 2011 with me and my friendly Hash House Harrier compatriots at our 22nd annual "Cheddarhead" bash beginning at 1:30 PM this Saturday -- as discussed below it will happen rain or shine. I know you're going to enjoy it, as our "subgroups" from the AOC did on New Year's Day in 2009 and 2010.
PLEASE REREAD MY ONLINE AOC WEBSITE ARTICLE with details about the event timetable and plan, suggested items to wear and bring, etc.
WHEN AND WHERE? As I've updated in the above-linked article:
The 1:30 PM "START LOCATION" for the event will be the free Parking Lot of SUBURBAN PLAZA SHOPPING CENTER at the junction of Church Street and North Decatur Road
(inside I-285 about a mile north of downtown Decatur).
We'll gather and park by the "BIG LOTS" store on the Church Street side of the shopping center.
WEATHER FORECAST: Some GOOD NEWS and not so good! As you may have noticed, the current forecast predicts much warmer than average weather this Saturday, with expected afternoon temperatures in the low 60s. The down side is that there's about a 50% probability of showers, although little accumulation is expected. Check the forecast again Saturday morning and adjust your clothing and rain gear accordingly! Our Hash House Harrier friends will set up the backyard party venue appropriately, with tarps, etc. if necessary. They're a tough breed, and normally would cancel or postpone an event only if there were a weather crisis of biblical proportions!
WHAT TO WEAR & BRING: In any case wear weather-appropriate clothing and rain gear and comfortable well-broken-in athletic shoes. If showers are still in the forecast I suggest that you plan to carry a light umbrella and perhaps a thin emergency rain parka that you can stash in your pocket or fanny pack if you don't need it. Also as discussed in the AOC article, consider bringing a compact folding CHAIR and a small DUFFEL containing:
1) A change of shoes and warm socks in case your feet get wet during the hike, and
2) An extra dry clothing layer or two and perhaps a cap for the outdoor party.
Our duffels and chairs will be transported for us from the Suburban Plaza parking lot to the "mystery-location" party venue during the hike (and taken back in our individual free shuttle rides to Suburban Plaza afterward).
START AREA PROCEDURE: Look for me (Charlie) among the crowd in the check-in area. I plan to be wearing my white "Atlanta Outdoor Club" T-Shirt, a red baseball cap and beaded "Dirty Limerick" ID necklace. We AOCers will introduce one another, sign the usual AOC waiver form (which I'll have on a clipboard), then register individually with the Harriers' "Hash Cash" volunteer (bring $10 in cash to cover your share of the bountiful refreshments & food). A bit after 2:00 PM after reciting the "Wedge of Allegiance" Cheddarhead creed we'll set off en masse on the trail of the "hare" which will end at the "mystery location" of the party. If you like, feel free to walk/jog with me during the "follow-the-hare" part of the festivities -- most of us hashers will be taking a leisurely pace with a rest stop or two along the way.BE FOREWARNED! Near the end of the Cheddarhead dinner party (following the hike) there will be traditional ritual singing and "down-downs." All "hash virgins" (first-timers) will be asked to do an obligatory celebratory "down-down" of a small cup of beer (or other libation if you prefer) while an appropriate rowdy song is sung. You won't be alone! ...We hash veterans will also be subjected to friendly hazing for various trumped-up "rule violations," "dubious accomplishments," etc. Please plan to imbibe in moderation especially if you'll be driving after the party.
On-On!
Charlie "Dirty Limerick" Cottingham
OFFICIAL NEW YEARS DAY 2011 CHEDDARHEAD" ANNOUNCEMENT ARTICLE on the AtlantaHash.com website:
http://www.atlantahash.com/?page=events&n=1542
Links to the numerous Hash House Harrier groups in Georgia including AH4 go to:
http://www.onin.com/hhh/#georgia_hashes
History, culture and worldwide popularity of the sport go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers
Tree Climbing on April 3, 2011
https://picasaweb.google.com/BlackRockDiver/20110403TreeClimbBlackburn#
Thank you Christine for buying our $180 tickets and arranging the wonderful evening on June 9, 2018!
Hamilton opened on Broadway on August 6, 2015 and became an immediate box-office
hit and critical favorite.
2016 Pulitzer Prize for Drama and Tony Award for
best musical.
Hamilton's theme: The birth of a nation.
Among its
cast of characters:
3 presidents
several vice presidents
a king
assorted U.S. Cabinel members
and that scrappy title
character introduced as "a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and Scotsman, dropped
in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished
in squalor..."
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Thank you Christine for buying our $180 tickets and arranging the wonderful evening!
King George II believes the Colonists and their warmongering are foolish, warning them "You'll be back. You'll remember you belong to me."
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Broadway show Million Dollar Quartet, March 2013 Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins
After the show, we had drinks with the stars. Elvis is awesome!
In the national tour of Million Dollar Quartet. Ben Goddard, James Barry and
David Elkins have joined the cast as Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and Johnny
Cash, respectively. They join original tour members Cody Slaughter (Elvis
Presley) and Kelly Lamont (Dyanne) in the Tony-nominated musical.
Million Dollar Quartet is inspired by the momentous recording session that
brought together rock 'n' roll icons Presley, Cash, Lewis and Perkins for the
only time in their careers. The show features the classic hits “Blue Suede
Shoes,†“Great Balls of Fire,†“Walk the Line†and “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’
On.â€Â
Very cool show!
about Serenbe
Serenbe is a 1,000 acre community
located under 30 minutes from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International
Airport. It is a national model for the future of balanced development in the
U.S. focusing on land preservation, agriculture, energy efficiency, green
building, walkability, high density building, arts and culture, and community
living for multiple generations. With a projected 70% of future building
occurring in the greenfield, Serenbe demonstrates how urban development models
can succeed on the edge of a metropolis while preserving a vast majority of the
greenspace. Serenbe's ultimate goal is to demonstrate how development can
accommodate the need for housing with minimal impact on nature Serenbe's land
plan calls for the preservation of at least 70% of the acreage, while
accommodating as many or more people as traditional subdivision-style
development.
http://www.serenbeplayhouse.com/
Looks like fun: http://www.serenbeinn.com/challengecourse.html
The Course - A total of 9 challenges ranging from ground level to 40 feet off
the ground.
The Hil, a restaurant at Serenbe
9110 Selborne Lane
Palmetto, Georgia 30268
770.463.6040
Looks like
fun:
http://www.serenbeinn.com/challengecourse.html
The Course - A total of 9 challenges ranging from ground level to 40 feet off
the ground.
http://www.serenbeplayhouse.com/
We ate here: http://www.the-hil.com/ The Hil, a restaurant at Serenbe 9110 Selborne Lane Palmetto, Georgia 30268 770.463.6040
Aerial Silk - Suzanna Dancing on Air
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Look what I did March 8, 2014! Spartan obstacle racing challenge http://www.spartanrace.com/ a coordinated event with The Biggest Loser Run Walk Off-Road Challenge http://biggestloserrunwalk.com/Georgia-OffRoad-2014 5 mile combination trail run, obstacle course, and mud run.
BEFORE - Our clean team: Johanna, Crystal, Casandra, Suzanna
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Johanna conquering one of the "obstacles". That is COLD, wet, slippery red Georgia clay!
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There was also hiking/swimming through water, walls and ropes to climb,
150-foot cargo net up a cliff, tires to move,
sand bags to lift 100' and sand bags to carry up a hill. CRAZY!
AFTER
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I LOVE skiing! Colorado is the best. More pix at Ski Vail with Atlanta Ski Club (2015) and Ski Aspen with Atlanta Ski Club (2000)
That's one STEEP mountain!
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Suzanna skis the bumps!
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Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus
We went to the last Greatest Show on Earth.
The circus ended in May, 2017 after a 146-year run.
About 400 people out of a job, and dozens of animals.
Elephants living out their days on the company's conservation center in Florida.
I was in a ball, rolling down the hill. SUPER FUN!
September, 2011. First time shooting. My hands were shaking the first time I loaded a bullet. After several misses, I actually hit three (3) targets!
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Don't mess with Suzanna!
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Never can do again things
Check point Charlie to East Berlin '78
Leaning tower of Pisa climb up '78
See free Hong Kong '93
Drive though Yugoslavia '78
Worlds Fair in Knoxville '82
Charcoal rubbings of Bangkok Temples '60
Olympics Centennial '96
Live in Santiago, Chile
Live in Bogota, Colombia, vacation in Giradot, Colombia
Saw Machi Picchu, Xia soldiers, Great Wall
A little gray hair is a small price to pay for all this wisdom!
Admit it: LIfe would be so boring without me.
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar sayd W.T.F.
WTF Wine time finally.
Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom. I'll keep looking.
Be the kind of woman what when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh crap, she's up!"
Being creamated is my last hope for a hot smokin body
Computer Psychiatrist
Don't rush me. I'm waiting for the last minute
Earth withough Art is just "EH"
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough, thought though.
Exercise? I though you said Extra Fries
everyone is born right-handed. Only the gifted overcome it.
I miss precedented times
I tried to be good, but I got bored.
I'm going to stop asking "How dumb can you get?" People seem to be taking it as a challenge.
I'm more confused than a chameleon in a big of skittles.
I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can bet tow dogs at once
I don't trip, I do random gravity checks
I can rise and shine, just not at the same time
I have stopped listening... so why are you still talking
If I cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors.
If you see your glass as half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop complaining.
If you shook your family tree, how many nuts would fall out?
I'm the oldest. I make the rules. I'm the middle. I'm the reason we had rules. I'm the youngest. The rules don't apply to me.
If I woke up int he morning and nothign hurt, I would think I was dead.
I'm sorry I'm late... I didn't want to come.
I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shot shwn theres so much that needs to be said
It's a beautiful day, I think I'll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I get a life, I'll be notified immediately.
If I say I will do it. I will do it. No need to remind me every 6 months!
I'd grow my own food if I could only find bacon seeds.
If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on.
I can't play stupid with you. You're too good at it.
I though growing old whould take longer.
I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
I'm just here to establish an alibi.
I'm not arguing. I'm explaining why I'm right.
I hate it when people accuse me of llollygagging when it is quite clear I am dillydallying
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
I'm disappointed when liar's pants don't actually catch on fire.
I don't have ducks. I don't have a row. I have squirrels and they're drunk.
I sometimes wonder what happened to peole who have asked me for directions
I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes
I haven't been everywhere, but it is on my list.
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Life is too short to waste time matching socks
Mister Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
My dog gives me two things: Unconditional love and unending turds to pick up.
My vacation this year is to Puerto Backyarta
Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.
Not to brag, but I can forget what i"m doing while I'm doing it.
Project Manager - because miracle worker isn't an official job title
Retired: Goodbye tension, Hello pension.
Sometimes I meet people and I feel bad for their dog.
The officer said "You drinking?". I said "you buying?". We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
The proper term for Senior women would be "Queen-Agers"
Tomorrow /te'maro/ n. - a mythical land where I get all my stuff done
Underestimate me. That'll be fun.
I'm middle aged menopausal woman. My pronouns are Try Me.
And yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking
Yes, I'm a nurse. No, I don't want to look at it.
The golden years have some at last. I cannot Pee, I cannot See, My budget shrinks, My Memory stinks, The golden years have come at last. The Golden years can kiss my Ass!
Don't grow up. It's a trap.
Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. RUN
The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I'm way worse.
In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.
Textrovert: (noun) A person who feels more comforatble talking over text than to your face.
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My GPS has learned to say "your other left"
You are about to exceed the limits of my medication.
The best thing about the good old days was that I wan't good and I wasn't old
Wearing all black today to mourn the loss of my motivation.
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