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Fun/Crazy Stuff

 

This page has information and pictures from:

Aerial Silk

Ancient Computers

Atlanta Braves Game

DaVinci Exhibit 

Dialog in the Dark

Football Championship Univ Fla 2008 

4-Highest Peaks World Record Tour

Hash House Harriers Run

Mud Run

Skiing

Segway Ride

Skeet Shooting

Snow-mageddon Atlanta January 28, 2014

Tree Climbing

Triathlons and  Peachtree Road Race

Zip lining at Banning Hills, Georgia

Zorbing

 

SHOW: Broadway show HAMILTON 

SHOW: Broadway show Million Dollar Quartet and drinks with Elvis (Presley)

SHOW: Cirque de la Symphonie

SHOW: Hair rock musical in 2013  and Jesus Christ Superstar in 2009

Also see fun stuff on these pages: Roller Coasters and 9 beaches and 4 lighthouses in one year.

 

SAYINGs

 

 

 


 

Zip lining at Banning Hills, Georgia

I did this October, 2008

Guinness World Records, in 2012 said Banning Hills had the largest and longest zip line canopy tour on the planet.

More than 10 miles of zip lines and massive sky bridges (one is over 700 feet long),  tree bridges, 20 platforms, two 60 foot towers and heights over 200 feet. 

What a blast! For more information check out their web site at http://www.historicbanningmills.com/    205 Horseshoe Dam Rd.  Whitesburg, GA 30185  866-447-8688 (about 20 south of Six Flags)

 

The giant Screaming Eagle zip line goes through Snake Creek Gorge over live rapids.  It's like stepping off a 30 story building . You reach speeds up to 60 miles per hour.

First you climb up lots of steps. Then you zip line to the first platform:

 

Then you have to get from platform to platform on scary bridges:

 

Wire bridges !!!??!!!   Then you zip down.  The last Screaming Eagle zip is 2400 ft.  It has one of the world's highest timber pole towers. 

You look down at Snake Creek almost 300feet below. It's like stepping off a 30 story building.  

Awesome fun!!!

 

Zip Lining at Banning Mills, Georgia  http://historicbanningmills.com/canopy.html

Check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5h-jQJ0KEE&feature=related

Also take a look at these...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQvjGaPZVa8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cISUDSn6Bc4&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzhR8xdU4Zo&NR=1

NY Times Zipping Through the Treetops http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/17/travel/escapes/17leaves.html

This also looks like fun! http://www.ziprider.com/home.php

 

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Cirque de la Symphonie

December, 2015    http://cirquedelasymphonie.com/

 

 

 

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Atlanta Braves Game

 

My friend Carolyn got complementary tickets from coach Bobby Cox.  Nine rows behind home plate! 

 

 


 

DaVinci and Michelangelo Side by Side Exhibit

https://discoverdavinci.com/

 

July, 2015

 

 

 

 

 

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Ancient Computers

 

I went to this Apple Museum show April, 2013.  It brought back memories....

 

Apple introduced its first true modems in 1984, the Apple Modem 300 and 1200.
They were external modems, connected via serial cables to the Macintosh. The telephone line was then connected directly to the modem.
These modems could also be connected to any Apple II with a Super Serial Card or similar interface.

In 1984, I was working for Computer Aided Marketing Programs (CAMP). I helped farmers use these 300 baud modems with their Apple computer to dial into our mainframe. 

It took 20 minutes to download a hurricane map to see if they had to protect their crops.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This next picture is the 30-pound "transportable" PC that I used at trade shows.  I hauled / lugged this computer through airports to show the system at trade shows. Now our phones can do all that....

IBM Portable
PC 5155

The picture is the 30-pound "transportable" PC that I lugged through airports to show the system at trade shows. Now our phones can do all that....
Released: February, 1984
Price         $4225
Weight:    30 pounds
CPU:        Intel 8088 @4.77MHz
Audio:      1 bit
RAM:        256K, 640K max
Display:    built-in 9-inch amber CRT, CGA graphics, 80x25 text
Storage:   2 360K 5.25-inch disk drives
Ports:       1 parallel, 1 serial, CGA video
OS:           Microsoft BASIC in ROM
Internal Expansion: 8 IBM XT slots, 4 available
Power:      120/240VAC only. No batteries inside
 


 Links:

   http://applepopupmuseum.com/

  http://www.computermuseumofamerica.com/


Atlanta Historical Computer Society https://atlhcs.org/    A user group for computer history / computer collecting enthusiasts

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=atlhcs

 

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Dialog in the Dark

I did this November 13, 2008 (with May) and again in November 11, 2009 (with 4 friends).

From their web site http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/ paraphrased:

Dialogue in the Dark is an awareness-raising company. We offer exhibitions and business workshop in total darkness. Through these perspective-changing experiences, we create jobs for blind, disabled and disadvantaged people worldwide. 

In the exhibition, blind guides lead visitors in small groups through different settings in total darkness where they learn how to interact without sight by using their other senses.  It offers the public an experience that can change mindsets on disability and diversity, and increase tolerance.

Over six million visitors from more than 25 countries have experienced the exhibition, giving over 5.000 blind people jobs since its first opening in 1988.

DIALOG IN THE DARK is not an ordinary Exhibition; it is an experience that will awaken senses, challenge prejudices, and deepen self-awareness.
DIALOG IN THE DARKS visually impaired guides lead visitors on a journey through a series of darkened galleries created to replicate everyday experiences. Without familiar sight clues, visitors learn to see in a completely new way with their non-visual senses.
DIALOG IN THE DARK is breaking through stereotypes to promote respect and tolerance in an engaging and lighthearted way.
DIALOG IN THE DARK is a one-hour experience, which lasts a lifetime.

 

The exhibition consists of a series of rooms in complete darkness.
The visitors, in groups of up to 10 people, get a short briefing and are introduced to the use of a long cane before embarking on the journey through darkness.
Escorted by the visually impaired guide, they spend up to 90 minutes exploring darkened galleries: a public park, a bustling city street, a food market, a boat, a cafe, to name a few.

Within this new paradigm, guides open the visitors eyes to show them that the world of the blind, the world of the other, is in no way poorer, just different.

 

Ticket Adult cost was $20.92 phone: 866-866-8265

To get there at Atlantic Station 265 18th Street, Atlanta, GA 30363: Take I-75 S to exit 250 16th St. Drive to Market St. Turn right. Parking garage near elevator #5. Got to level 2.

My Experience:

I got more of an experience that anyone!  I went with 4 friends. There was a total of seven people in our group.  At the first checkpoint, all seven of us counted off.  At each checkpoint we would count off. A voice yelling "one" "two" "three" "four" "five" "six" "seven". Then we moved on to the next room.

At the end of the tour the last room was the "bustling city street".  It was loud.  Horns honking, a street to cross, negotiate the curb, people yelling. Everyone exited the room except me.  They deserted me!  I was left in the last room all by myself!!!   I was in there for 15 minutes.  The rest of the group was in the room next door asking questions. 

Since we were the last group of the day, there wasn't a group coming behind our group so they allowed more time for questions.  I was pounding on the walls, banging metal objects, and yelling and yelling for someone to help me!   I did not panic, but I sure got a good idea of  what it is really like to be totally blind and totally helpless.  Definitely a life-changing experience for me!

 

 

 

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4-Highest Peaks World Record Tour

I did this trip on Friday July 24 to Sunday, July 26, 1992

This trip was a trip!  It's one example of other varied and different activities offered by the Atlanta Ski Club.  Another Cottingham adventure for sure!

 

Cost is $35 with the Atlanta Ski Club

 

The goal of this adventure is to set what we believe to be a "World Record" by hiking to the tops of all four highest peaks in SC, NC, TN, and GA in one sunup - to - sundown day!  This includes Mt. Mitchell - highest peak east of the Rockies, and Clingman's Dome - the highest peak in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

 

Believe it or not, this requires only about 5 miles of total hiking, broken into short segments of no more than 1 mile each (all 4 peaks have parking lots near their summits. The crux of the Saturday plan is to start early and keep moving on schedule in our vehicles - about 290 miles total.

 

We will carpool from the Indian Trail I-85 park and ride lot at 6pm Friday with dinner en route to Rocky Bottom, SC (2 hr drive). We will stay in 2 rental houses Friday night, bring a sleeping bag. After an early breakfast we will drive to Sassafras Mtn. SC, then 80 miles to Mt. Mitchell, just east of Asheville, NC. After a picnic lunch we will drive 95 miles to Clingmans' Dome, TN and finally 100 more miles to our own Brasstown Bald Mountain GA. where we hope to see a beautiful sunset from the summit. We'll enjoy dinner at Camp Pioneer (oldest YMCA camp in GA, just 8 miles from Brasstown Bald) and spend the night in their antique rustic cabins. After breakfast on Sunday, we'll offer an optional day hike to the High Shoals waterfalls en route home.

 

Pre-Trip Party: July 21 6-8 pm at 57th Fighter Group.

 

Cancellation Fee: $10. No refunds after July 15 unless replaced.

 

The Schedule

 

"World Record" ItineraryMilesStartHours
Saturday breakfast at Laurel Valley Lodge  6:300.5
Rocky Bottom to base Sassafras Mountain, South Carolina 8.07:000.3
Hike up and down Sassafras Mountain      3560 feet0.57:150.7
Sassafras to base Mt. Mitchell80.08:002.0
Hike up and down Mt. Mitchell                 6684 feet1.010:001.5
Picnic lunch by Mt. Mitchell parking lot  11:300.5
Base Mt. Mitchell to base Clingman's Dome95.012:003.0
Hike up and down Clingman's Dome         6643 feet2.03:001.5
Base Clingman's Dome to base Brasstown Bald99.04:302.5
Hike up and down Brasstown Bald           4784 feet1.07:001.0
End World-Record tour at sundown (8pm)     
     

 

Saturday dinner on your own at Deer Lodge, about 9 miles from Brasstown Bald. Spend the night at Brasstown Village, in antique cabins (formerly "Camp Pioneer", the oldest YMCA Summer Camp in GA. or you can camp in the tenting area or RV campsite if you prefer.

 

Sunday about 9 am we'll cook our own group breakfast at Brasstown Village (ingredients provided by trip budget).
About 11 am Check out. Optional day hike at High Shoals Falls scenic area near Brasstown Bald before 2-hour return trip to Atlanta.

 

Whew!  That was quite a trip!

 

Not my picture

 

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Peachtree Road Race  2007, 2008, 2010, 2016

This is the biggest 10K in the world and it's quite a party!

It always takes place on July 4.  I did it in 2007. I'm not a runner so I said I would never to that again, but I did it again in 2008 and 2010.  And again in 2016.  It was HOT and Humid.  I was 6 minutes slower.....

 

Peachtree Road race - I did it! Here's the proof. Pictures are at http://www.marathonfoto.com/

Select Race: Peachtree Road Race 2007, enter last name and Bib Number: 30613

It really was a lot of fun seeing all those people moving in unison. The race started at 7:30 and it took about an hour to get 55,000 people across the start line. I was in group 3 and I went across the start line at 7:46 am. I walked about half a mile so it took me 1 hour and 26 minutes to run 6.2 miles. The fastest runner finished in 28 minutes. I was very happy to finish! 

 

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2008 National Championship game

 

January, 2009 - I was there to see my Gators win!

 

 

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Roller Derby

Very fun to watch! 

 


 

Segway

Bobby Marie took my on a wonderful Segway tour through downtown.

We wheeled through all the Falcons tailgate parties. Fun!

 

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Triathlons

 

Suzanna's Tri Movie - This is a movie of me in a race did September, 2015 at Lake Lanier.  I am #815. I'm wearing a pink top swimming, green long sleeve top for the bike ride and run.  Click here to view the movie of 2015 Lake Lanier Triathlon Run Flix.mp4  

The races are super fun. The training sucks.

 

2016 August - Triathlon at Allatoona, with Christine, Wendy.

2016 June - Triathlon at Callaway, with Wendy.

2015 September - Triathlon #7 at Lake Lanier with Gorkem.

2015 August - Triathlon #6 at Allatoona with Christine, Wendy, and Gorkem.

2015 June - Triathlon #5 at Callaway, with Christine and Wendy

2010 October - Half Marathon on Silver Comet. Finished in 2:25

2010 August - Triathlon #4 Acworth

2010 June - Triathlon #3 Calloway at Mtn Creek Inn

2009 August - Triathlon #2 Acworth

2009 July - Suzanna runs the Peachtree Road Race - The Largest 10k in the World!

2009 June - My First Triathlon at Lake Lanier on Friday, June 5.  There was about 200 people in my group - we started with a frantic swim in Lake Lanier, then you bike 12 miles (on hills) and run 5k (3.1 miles on hills).  The week in Tibet at high altitudes (up to 17,300 feet) sure did help my training!

These pictures are from the first tri:  This is the set up area at 6:45 am.  You can see my (mountain) bike #57 in the foreground, and the Bike Start and Run Start signs.

     

Here's the finish line!

I did it!                 

Above is the old bike.               Below is the new bike:

Georgia Peach Women's Sprint Triathlon directions to Acworth:

I-75 North to Exit 278 (Glade Farm Rd / Acworth Exit).

Turn LEFT onto Glade Farm

Turn RIGHT at the stoplight onto Lake Acworth Drive (GA 92). 

Go 1/2 mile. Watch for the Mary CcCale Memorial, get in right turn only lane on the overpass.

Turn RIGHT at the end of the overpass ramp and go to Main Street.

Turn LEFT onto Main and go to the second street on the left (Lakewood Dr.)

Turn LEFT on Lakewood. Continue straight on Allatoona Dr and the road will dead end at Dallas Landing.

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Hash House Harrier run on January 1, 2011
I did the 22nd annual "Cheddarhead" bash. What a crazy group.  It was 60 degrees and pouring rain. Over 100 people following white flour splotches through streets and into the woods.  It was about a 6 mile run that ended with a big party.

Hi to all you Atlanta Outdoor Club Hikers & Partiers,

 

Happy New Year! Hope you've had some happy winter holidays thus far -- how 'bout that WHITE Christmas! Thanks for signing up to ring in 2011 with me and my friendly Hash House Harrier compatriots at our 22nd annual "Cheddarhead" bash beginning at 1:30 PM this Saturday -- as discussed below it will happen rain or shine. I know you're going to enjoy it, as our "subgroups" from the AOC did on New Year's Day in 2009 and 2010.

PLEASE REREAD MY ONLINE AOC WEBSITE ARTICLE with details about the event timetable and plan, suggested items to wear and bring, etc.

 

WHEN AND WHERE? As I've updated in the above-linked article:

The 1:30 PM "START LOCATION" for the event will be the free Parking Lot of SUBURBAN PLAZA SHOPPING CENTER at the junction of Church Street and North Decatur Road

 (inside I-285 about a mile north of downtown Decatur).

We'll gather and park by the "BIG LOTS" store on the Church Street side of the shopping center.

 

WEATHER FORECAST: Some GOOD NEWS and not so good! As you may have noticed, the current forecast predicts much warmer than average weather this Saturday, with expected afternoon temperatures in the low 60s. The down side is that there's about a 50% probability of showers, although little accumulation is expected. Check the forecast again Saturday morning and adjust your clothing and rain gear accordingly! Our Hash House Harrier friends will set up the backyard party venue appropriately, with tarps, etc. if necessary. They're a tough breed, and normally would cancel or postpone an event only if there were a weather crisis of biblical proportions!

WHAT TO WEAR & BRING: In any case wear weather-appropriate clothing and rain gear and comfortable well-broken-in athletic shoes. If showers are still in the forecast I suggest that you plan to carry a light umbrella and perhaps a thin emergency rain parka that you can stash in your pocket or fanny pack if you don't need it. Also as discussed in the AOC article, consider bringing a compact folding CHAIR and a small DUFFEL containing:
   1) A change of shoes and warm socks in case your feet get wet during the hike, and
   2) An extra dry clothing layer or two and perhaps a cap for the outdoor party.
Our duffels and chairs will be transported for us from the Suburban Plaza parking lot to the "mystery-location" party venue during the hike (and taken back in our individual free shuttle rides to Suburban Plaza afterward).

START AREA PROCEDURE: Look for me (Charlie) among the crowd in the check-in area. I plan to be wearing my white "Atlanta Outdoor Club" T-Shirt, a red baseball cap and beaded "Dirty Limerick" ID necklace. We AOCers will introduce one another, sign the usual AOC waiver form (which I'll have on a clipboard), then register individually with the Harriers' "Hash Cash" volunteer (bring $10 in cash to cover your share of the bountiful refreshments & food). A bit after 2:00 PM after reciting the "Wedge of Allegiance" Cheddarhead creed we'll set off en masse on the trail of the "hare" which will end at the "mystery location" of the party. If you like, feel free to walk/jog with me during the "follow-the-hare" part of the festivities -- most of us hashers will be taking a leisurely pace with a rest stop or two along the way.

BE FOREWARNED! Near the end of the Cheddarhead dinner party (following the hike) there will be traditional ritual singing and "down-downs." All "hash virgins" (first-timers) will be asked to do an obligatory celebratory "down-down" of a small cup of beer (or other libation if you prefer) while an appropriate rowdy song is sung. You won't be alone! ...We hash veterans will also be subjected to friendly hazing for various trumped-up "rule violations," "dubious accomplishments," etc. Please plan to imbibe in moderation especially if you'll be driving after the party.

On-On!

Charlie "Dirty Limerick" Cottingham

 

OFFICIAL NEW YEARS DAY 2011 CHEDDARHEAD" ANNOUNCEMENT ARTICLE on the AtlantaHash.com website:
http://www.atlantahash.com/?page=events&n=1542
 

Links to the numerous Hash House Harrier groups in Georgia including AH4 go to:
http://www.onin.com/hhh/#georgia_hashes
 

History, culture and worldwide popularity of the sport go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers

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Tree Climbing on April 3, 2011

 

https://picasaweb.google.com/BlackRockDiver/20110403TreeClimbBlackburn# 

 


Broadway show Hamilton

Thank you Christine for buying our $180 tickets and arranging the wonderful evening on June 9, 2018!

Hamilton opened on Broadway on August 6, 2015 and became an immediate box-office hit and critical favorite.
2016 Pulitzer Prize for Drama and Tony Award for best musical.
Hamilton's theme: The birth of a nation. 
Among its cast of characters:
    3 presidents
    several vice presidents
    a king
    assorted U.S. Cabinel members
    and that scrappy title character introduced as "a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished in squalor..." 

Thank you Christine for buying our $180 tickets and arranging the wonderful evening!

King George II believes the Colonists and their warmongering are foolish, warning them "You'll be back. You'll remember you belong to me."

 


Broadway show Million Dollar Quartet,  March 2013                 Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins

After the show, we had drinks with the stars.  Elvis is awesome!

  

In the national tour of Million Dollar Quartet. Ben Goddard, James Barry and David Elkins have joined the cast as Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash, respectively. They join original tour members Cody Slaughter (Elvis Presley) and Kelly Lamont (Dyanne) in the Tony-nominated musical.

Million Dollar Quartet is inspired by the momentous recording session that brought together rock 'n' roll icons Presley, Cash, Lewis and Perkins for the only time in their careers. The show features the classic hits “Blue Suede Shoes,” “Great Balls of Fire,” “Walk the Line” and “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On.”

 

 


 

Hair rock musical 2013

Very cool show!


about Serenbe

Serenbe is a 1,000 acre community located under 30 minutes from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. It is a national model for the future of balanced development in the U.S. focusing on land preservation, agriculture, energy efficiency, green building, walkability, high density building, arts and culture, and community living for multiple generations. With a projected 70% of future building occurring in the greenfield, Serenbe demonstrates how urban development models can succeed on the edge of a metropolis while preserving a vast majority of the greenspace. Serenbe's ultimate goal is to demonstrate how development can accommodate the need for housing with minimal impact on nature Serenbe's land plan calls for the preservation of at least 70% of the acreage, while accommodating as many or more people as traditional subdivision-style development.

http://www.serenbeplayhouse.com/

http://www.serenbeinn.com/

Looks like fun: http://www.serenbeinn.com/challengecourse.html

The Course - A total of 9 challenges ranging from ground level to 40 feet off the ground.

We ate here: http://www.the-hil.com/

The Hil, a restaurant at Serenbe
9110 Selborne Lane
Palmetto, Georgia 30268
770.463.6040

 http://www.serenbeplayhouse.com/

http://www.serenbeinn.com/

Looks like fun: http://www.serenbeinn.com/challengecourse.html

The Course - A total of 9 challenges ranging from ground level to 40 feet off the ground.
 

We ate here: http://www.the-hil.com/    The Hil, a restaurant at Serenbe   9110 Selborne Lane   Palmetto, Georgia 30268     770.463.6040

 

JCS

     


 

Aerial Silk  - Suzanna Dancing on Air 

Click to see more pictures

 

 


Mud Run  - Suzanna gets dirty

 

Look what I did March 8, 2014! Spartan obstacle racing challenge http://www.spartanrace.com/  a coordinated event with The Biggest Loser Run Walk Off-Road Challenge http://biggestloserrunwalk.com/Georgia-OffRoad-2014   5 mile combination trail run, obstacle course, and mud run.

 

BEFORE - Our clean team: Johanna, Crystal, Casandra, Suzanna

 

Johanna conquering one of the "obstacles". That is COLD, wet, slippery red Georgia clay!

There was also hiking/swimming through water, walls and ropes to climb,

150-foot cargo net up a cliff, tires to move,

sand bags to lift 100' and sand bags to carry up a hill. CRAZY!

AFTER

 

 

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Skiiing

I LOVE skiing!   Colorado is the best.  More pix at  Ski Vail with Atlanta Ski Club (2015) and  Ski Aspen with Atlanta Ski Club (2000)

 

That's one STEEP mountain!

                  Suzanna skis the bumps!

 

 

 

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Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus

We went to the last Greatest Show on Earth. 

The circus ended in May, 2017 after a 146-year run.

About 400 people out of a job, and dozens of animals. 

Elephants living out their days on the company's conservation center in Florida. 

 

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Zorbing

I was in a ball, rolling down the hill.  SUPER FUN!

 

 

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Skeet Shooting

 

September, 2011.  First time shooting. My hands were shaking the first time I loaded a bullet.  After several misses, I actually hit three (3) targets!

 

 

Don't mess with Suzanna!

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Never can do again things

Check point Charlie to East Berlin '78

Leaning tower of Pisa climb up '78

See free Hong Kong '93

Drive though Yugoslavia '78

Worlds Fair in Knoxville '82

Charcoal rubbings of Bangkok Temples '60

Olympics Centennial '96

Live in Santiago, Chile

Live in Bogota, Colombia, vacation in Giradot, Colombia

Saw Machi Picchu, Xia soldiers, Great Wall

 

 


SAYINGs

 

 

A little gray hair is a small price to pay for all this wisdom!

Admit it: LIfe would be so boring without me.

After Monday and Tuesday  even the calendar sayd W.T.F.

WTF  Wine time finally.

Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom. I'll keep looking.

Be the kind of woman what when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh crap, she's up!"

Being creamated is my last hope for a hot smokin body

Computer Psychiatrist

Don't rush me. I'm waiting for the last minute

Earth withough Art is just "EH"

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough, thought though.

Exercise? I though you said Extra Fries

everyone is born right-handed. Only the gifted overcome it.

I miss precedented times

I tried to be good, but I got bored.

I'm going to stop asking "How dumb can you get?" People seem to be taking it as a challenge.

I'm more confused than a chameleon in a big of skittles.

I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can bet tow dogs at once 

I don't trip, I do random gravity checks

I can rise and shine, just not at the same time

I have stopped listening... so why are you still talking

If I cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors.

If you see your glass as half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop complaining.

If you shook your family tree, how many nuts would fall out?

I'm the oldest. I make the rules.        I'm the middle. I'm the reason we had rules.        I'm the youngest. The rules don't apply to me.

If I woke up int he morning and nothign hurt, I would think I was dead.

I'm sorry I'm late... I didn't want to come.

I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shot shwn theres so much that needs to be said

It's a beautiful day, I think I'll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I get a life, I'll be notified immediately.

If I say I will do it. I will do it.  No need to remind me every 6 months!

I'd grow my own food if I could only find bacon seeds.

If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on.

I can't play stupid with you.  You're too good at it.

I though growing old whould take longer.

I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

I'm just here to establish an alibi.

I'm not arguing. I'm explaining why I'm right.

I hate it when people accuse me of llollygagging when it is quite clear I am dillydallying

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

I'm disappointed when liar's pants don't actually catch on fire.

I don't have ducks. I don't have a row.  I have squirrels and they're drunk.

I sometimes wonder what happened to peole who have asked me for directions

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes

I haven't been everywhere, but it is on my list.

Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.

Life is too short to waste time matching socks

Mister Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.

My dog gives me two things:  Unconditional love and unending turds to pick up.

My vacation this year is to Puerto Backyarta

Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them.

Not to brag, but I can forget what i"m doing while I'm doing it.

 

Project Manager - because miracle worker isn't an official job title

Retired: Goodbye tension, Hello pension.

Sometimes I meet people and I feel bad for their dog.

The officer said "You drinking?". I said "you buying?". We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.

The proper term for Senior women would be "Queen-Agers"

Tomorrow /te'maro/ n. - a mythical land where I get all my stuff done

Underestimate me.  That'll be fun.

 

And yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking

Yes, I'm a nurse. No, I don't want to look at it.

 

The golden year have some at last. I cannot Pee, I cannot See, My budget shrinks, My Memory stinks, The golden year have come at last. The Golden years can kiss my Ass!

 

Don't grow up. It's a trap.

Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. RUN

The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I'm way worse.

In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.

Textrovert: (noun) A person who feels more comforatble talking over text than to your face.

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

My GPS has learned to say "your other left"

You are about to exceed the limits of my medication.

The best thing about the good old days was that I wan't good and I wasn't old

Wearing all black today to mourn the loss of my motivation.

 

 

 

 

Other pages: Diane's Bachelorette party, People

 

 

 

 

 

 

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